Monday, July 30, 2007

Relational Competition

Winning together is about working with others so that everyone wins in achieving the agreed upon goal. Couples work together towards the explicit contracts and agreements that make the relationship work for them and the relationship. Teams work together to accomplish success for the project and shared benefits and satisfaction for each member of the team. Schools work together to create an ideal learning/teaching environment for the success of the students and the school. Governments work together and with each other for the welfare of its citizens and civilization as a whole. Management and employees work together for the success of the business, profits for the company, benefits for the employees and a sense of mutual involvement and satisfaction by all.

Relational competitive antitrades, beliefs and behaviors interfere with collaboration, cooperation and winning together. Competitive Relational Beliefs include and are not limited to: "someone always wins and someone always looses in interpersonal relationships"; "there has always been war and there will always be war"; either or thinking; hierarchical form of government and decision making. Relational Competitive Behaviors include and are not limited to: power over, power plays to sneak one on the other; secret, lies, envy, verbal abuse, name calling, withdrawing, interrupting, shouting at another, ignoring judgmental criticism without permission from the recipient and defining another as worthless.

In order to win together, we must operate out of a mutually agreed upon contact (see "Winning Together" in the publications section of the concept tab on this web site) and avoiding and or minimizing relational competitive behaviors.

In relationships, when one person looses, nobody wins.

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